Renowned addiction and trauma expert Gabor Maté believes that we have a tendency to choose romantic partners who are at the same level of traumatic hurt as we are, mirroring the same unhealed childhood wounds.
For example, if you were raised by parents who were emotionally unavailable, you're likely to choose a partner who displays the same characteristics.
If you were raised in a household where anger, insults, criticism and blame were the norm, you will be attracted to individuals who behave in the same way; unable to regulate their emotions or communicate in a respectful way.
In short, we accept the love we think we deserve.
If you asked yourself whether you were proud of the love you've chosen and the treatment you've accepted, how would you answer? What emotions come up for you?
If you're repeating familiar patterns of behaviour yourself, however unconsciously, it's important to acknowledge that what ensured our survival in childhood will not lead to us thriving as adults.
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